Too Many Demons to Slay
by DigiXBot
Summary: Lelouch learned that day why Suzaku took the actions he did. So what exactly would he have done with that? AU after "Nunnally held Hostage." Warning for discussion of mental disorder and depression.


**This is my first time writing a hurt/comfort scene. This is also an AU taking place after "Nunnally Held Hostage," where Lelouch took a different action after learning of Suzaku's inner darkness…**

Lelouch kept his face hidden under his hoodie while walking down the streets of the Tokyo Settlement. He could not risk anyone finding out where he was or who he is. As he carefully walked past the Britannian civilians, he made his way to a large building with the word, "Sumeragi Industry."

Walking through the front entrance, he came his way to the receptionist in the center of the hall. "I'm here to see miss Sumeragi."

"Do you have an appointment?" She drawled back while not looking away from her computer.

"The name 'Lelouch Lamperouge' should be there." The woman sighed, then typed the name down into her computer. Her eyes widened at what came on the screen. "I-I see. She will be in her private office, Mr. Lamperouge." She handed her a pass key.. "The private elevator there is at the end of the third hall."

"Thank you." The youth nodded. Following her directions, he found the elevator. Holding the pass key over the scanner nearby, the device beeped as the Elevator opened. He stepped inside and sighed as the car rose. _I wonder how he is, after all this time…_

When the elevator came to a stop and beeped, he stepped out and arrived at a large office. It was placed at the top of the building, and its size rivaled his home at Ashford. Sitting at an oak desk was a fourteen year old girl with long raven hair.

At his arrival, the girl looked up from the files on her desk and beamed at him. "Lelouch."

"It's good to see you, Sumeragi-san."

Kaguya gave a light chuckle. "You are years my senior, Lelouch, you don't have to address me so formally. How is Nunnally?"

"She's fine." At this he frowned. "She misses him, though. Speaking of which…"

"Of course." Kaguya grabbed a key from her desk and the two made their way to a brass door. She put the key into the door and turned it, then opened the door completely.

Inside was a modest bedroom with a desk on one side and a bed and a nightstand on the other. And sitting on the edge of the bed was a brown haired boy reading a manga.

"Suzaku." Kaguya spoke to her cousin. He put down the boy and smiled gently with his green orb. But then he frowned and turned away.

"Hello Kaguya. Lelouch."

"How are you, today?" Lelouch asked.

"I'm fine," The Japanese youth replied with a trace of coldness. "Just been catching up on a series I've been wanting to finish."

The black-haired boy turned to Kaguya. "Is he doing well?"

"His sessions haven't shown any results." The entrepreneur said sadly. "It's difficult for the psychologist to get him to open up."

"That's not a surprise." Lelouch mumbled. "May I talk to him in private."

Kaguya nodded, and Lelouch went to sit next to his old friend while she shut the door. As she returned to her desk, the two remained quiet before Suzaku spoke.

"How's Nunnally?"

"She misses you." Lelouch stated bluntly. "We all do." At this Suzaku raised an eyebrow. "Okay, Nina doesn't. But that doesn't mean no one else does."

Indeed the rest of the student council was almost as concerned as Lelouch was. Rivalz fidgeted when he thought of the boy that didn't came to class anymore. Shirley had often asked Lelouch of Suzaku's wellbeing. Even Milly and Kallen, who both tried to hide it, have immense concerned for their missing friend. And Arthur of course was miserable without his favorite scratching post

And Nunnally was in the worst state. Lelouch had long known of his sister's feeling to the boy (It was one of the reasons he wanted him as her knight when the time comes). And with her immense compassion, she couldn't rest soundly. Even knowing that Suzaku was being treated could not relieve her.

"Maybe I should come back home…" Suzaku mumbled.

"Absolutely not." Lelouch stated sternly. "What if your condition get worse?"

"You don't have to worry this much about me."

"So I should just forget that you wish to die? Forget that you are being devoured alive by-"

"At least if I die it would be better!" Suzaku shouted back.

Lelouch was silent for a few seconds before speaking. "You did what you had to. Your father was going to send every man and women-"

"Don't. Don't try to justify what I did. If I think like that, I am no better than Zero."

"That's just it. If you continue to see yourself as a monster, you'll end up becoming one in reality." When his friend remained quiet he sighed. "Forget it." As he got up and left, he heard a near inaudible voice. "It was nice talking to you, Lelouch."

"Yes, it was." As Lelouch grabbed the door handle, he heard bits of a conversation outside.

 _What is it?_ But he got his answer when he opened the door. Both Kaguya and the pink-haired girl stopped their discussion to look at him, the former in horror, the latter in shock.

"Oh no…"

"Lelouch…" Princess Euphemia asked in shock.

* * *

Euphie didn't know what to expect when she went looking for Suzaku. When he suddenly asked for a leave from the military, she was concerned. She had suspected he was in pain since Narita, but she never expected him to stop, not with his dream of a peaceful world.

After finally convincing her sister not to execute the boy, she started looking for him. She first checked his apartment, which was empty. Next she contacted Ashford Academy, who told her that Suzaku left for medical reasons.

She then searched for his family, and that's when she learned of Kaguya Sumeragi, his cousin, who was also a member of the NZA that governed Area 11's local industry. Arriving at her office in a disguise and only revealing herself to acquire this sudden meeting, she first asked the young C.E.O. if she knew where Suzaku was. When she said no, Euphie deduced quickly that she was hiding something. Just as she was about to ask more, the door behind them opened, revealing her "dead" brother.

Lelouch cursed quietly as he closed the door before his sister and his friend would see each other. _Great. I risked too much revealing myself to Kaguya. With Euphie here, the chance that Nunnally and I can be discovered will increase._

"Is it really you, Lelouch?" His sister asked once more, tears filling her eyes.

 _I'll have to resort to Geass if the situation becomes too extreme._ "Yes, it is me, Euphie."

"You're alive. Does that mean that…"

"Nunnally is fine as well. But why are you-" He paused. "You went looking for Suzaku, did you?"

"I wanted to make sure he's alright. He vanished too suddenly and…" She took a deep breathe. "What's going on Lelouch?"

"Suzaku is, unwell. He has been for a while. I found out recently and, convinced, no forced him to seek treatment. Kaguya has been helping out with finding the necessary treatment."

"But why?"

"It's because… It is best to ask him yourself." He opened the door. Suzaku's eyes widened as he saw her.

"Euhpie?"

"Hello, Suzaku."

"But why-"

"If you refuse to talk to your therapist, then perhaps you can open up to her." Lelouch stated.

The green-haired boy remained deathly still before sighing. "Maybe it's for the best she learns."

After Euphie nervously enters the small room, Lelouch closed the door behind her.

"Is it alright if she learns the truth?" Kaguya asked him.

"She clearly did everything she could to find him. This may be the only way to"

"And you and Nunnally?"

"I'll have to persuade her to remain silent about that." _At least with my Geass she'll at least forget._

"You're quite compassionate for a forest Yokai." Kaguya teased, causing him to scowl back.

It felt like hours had passed by the time Euphie exited the room. Her expression contained much empathy and sorrow.

"I never knew…" She let out. "He was in so much pain. Did you two know that…."

"We both learned quite recently, actually. I told Kaguya afterwards."

"If he stayed in the military longer, he would have put himself in more risk."

"Now that you know the truth, you have to keep quiet." Kaguya said sternly. "If anyone learned the true fate of my uncle-"

"So many others will come after Suzaku. Both Japanese and Britannians." Euphie finished. "I know that. You don't have to worry. I'll keep this hidden."

Kaguya smiled "You are as compassionate as Suzaku said you are, Princess Euphemia." This caused the princess to blush.

"I- I should get going." She reached into her bag and pulled out her disguise that she put on.

"Allow me to escort you." Lelouch said. The two siblings then said goodbye to Kaguya and entered the elevator.

It was quiet for a few seconds before Euphie spoke. "He told me that you two died during the invasion. But he was lying to protect you, wasn't he."

"Most likely." Lelouch repli

"Why didn't you tell anyone that you and Nunna survived?"

"If we came back, the emperor would have used Nunnally as a pawn." He answered bitterly. "I couldn't put her in reach of those jackals."

"And that's also why you became Zero." She mumbled, causing him to look at him in shock.

"When did you-"

"What you said back in Lake Kawaguchi was something you would have said back in Pendragon all those years ago."

"And you haven't told Cornelia yet?"

"I don't how would Nelly react knowing who you are."

"So you will continue to remain silent?"

"Of course, about you two and Zero" Euphie said in determination. "You're still the same kind hearted boy I knew all those years ago. That's why you became Zero for Nunnally. That's why you got Suzaku to leave the military and helped him get treatment."

"Yes…"

* * *

" _Suzaku. I order you to resign from the military. You are to believe that this was of your decision and no one else's. Then you must meet me afterwards."_

 _Suzaku nodded as the red rims around his pupils glowed. "Of course, Lelouch."_

* * *

"He is my closest friend. I would do anything to keep him alive."

* * *

 **And that's that. I got this idea when I watched a video on how Darth Vader had Borderline Personality Disorder, and as I listened to the narrator list down the characteristics. I realized that Suzaku had those same traits.**

 **Besides his death wish he acquired since killing his father, he also suffered from impulsive and lack of restraint. After Euphie's death, it got worse. He was willing to betray anyone in order to make a peaceful world. He became willing to kill his best friend, even though it hurted him more in the process.**

 **Does this make up for what he has done in R2. Well, no. But it does give a different insight in who he is.**

 **And if you don't think Lelouch wouldn't have Geass Suzaku to leave the army, remember that in Canon he gave him the live Geass to counter his death wish.**

 **Note: Kaguya calling Lelouch a "forest Yokai" is a reference to a sound drama where she meet him in a forest and thought he was a demon.**


End file.
